Gay Parents: Recommended

My regular readers will now that gay adoption rights are a personal, touchy area for me. As a father and grandfather myself, I am acutely conscious that what matters to a child is not the status or orientation of the parent, but the depth of love and the quality of the care. My daughter Robynn has gone on record in stating , on the first occasion, that her experience when living with my partner and myself gave her a more stable emotional environment, and better examples in moral standards, than she saw given to her classmates from more “conventional” backgrounds. Later, she made it clear in a post here at QTC, that we should listen to the voices and experiences of children themselves who have grown up in gay – headed households, before making judgements. Giving her own verdict, she concluded: “Gay parents? I recommend them”.

The issue of gay adoption tends to get less press than same sex marriage, but in many ways has greater importance for long term progress to gay equality and inclusion. Here in the UK , gay adoption is fully accepted in law, but a Catholic adoption agency has just won an important court appeal, granting it exemption from the statutory requirement of equal treatment for all candidate parents. This is a topic I am not yet ready to discuss properly, but will do at some stage. In the US, the situation varies by state, but in only one state, Florida, is there an outright legal ban. There is no sign of this ban being lifted by legislative process any time soon, but meanwhile there have been a string of favourable court decisions, with an important court ruling due any day now. In the meantime, here is another personal story of one child who would clearly agree with Robynn, and recommend gay parents. In his case, he voted with his feet, and actively left his one-mother-one-father version family for a gay single father – and in the process made a huge improvement in his life:

From Palm Beach Post:

Grade-A gay ‘parent’ saved a child from two-parent straight home

James was a bright boy with a dark future looming when he made a decision to change his destiny. Read the rest of this entry »

Lessons From a Four-year Old (He is what he is).

“I am what I am” has so long been a queer slogan that it has almost become a cliche, lost its meaning.  But when we really think about it, the words still have power to move – certainly for me and Raymond – probably also for others of our generation.  But I wonder:  how long did it take us before we could embrace the words for ourselves – and how fully?  I doubt if there has ever been a child this  young, with parents wise and supportive enough to enable him to be who he is.

Sam is a 4-year-old boy who likes dressing up.  So do most young kids, both boys and girls. He has a special dressing up box: again, pretty common.

Sam likes pink clothes.  So do a lot of girls – boys, not so much.       But his folks are willing to go along with this, because it’ s what he likes – as long as it’s not too outlandish.

Sam likes a lot of frills, and gauze, and tulle. So do a lot of girls – boys, not so much.       But his folks are willing to go along with this too, because it’ s what he likes – as long as it’s for the dressing up-box, in domestic privacy.

Sam likes to wear dresses. Read the rest of this entry »